i initially started rambling here but later deleted it, now im back here, with the intention to complete my "desired" post. the cobwebs are arising but this post shall be messages and messages. haha.

my weekend students are the most pitiful batch of students. time and again i never fail to not wake up and make it in time for tuition, tried means and ways to fit in nite weekday slots for them but there doesn seem to be a solution. mayb i should start applying wad sheena said"mind over matter".

to mud; im real sorry today. but i really had something impromptu to attend to. i know u wont be seeing this, but still, sorry. the no. of missed calls and un-replied messages.

ice; the setences; i just remembered ive somethign to do at home just reminds me of what she said, she've something to attend to, its a last min thing. e funniest thing, is those words were asked to convey to u but nt directly to me, mayb, i aint a human to her. but still. im such a person tt she have to put lies across when she is a person who abhors liars.

rtd; we've been frens since i dunno when and known each other inside out. there's nothing tt i cant tell you bout but now, i guess things are different. i know something happen in between to break this bond somewhat but then i realise, im tired of trying. the no. of times i asked is the no. of times i get the rejection. if she's the one asking, perhaps or rather i gaurantee it will be different. i abhor ur gutlessness, u're 19 my dear, be confident of every of ur move and step. dun tell me u cant for i see u rise so high up. once said towait but still u went ahead. let's be honest, we all know the reason behind the hastily you. but are u going a bit over? im whining but who cares?

you; mayb ive finally understood tt being strangers is the best route of it all. every coldness, every atttitude make the tears fall lky anything. i dunno why things turn out this way, i know u aint gonna bother for perhaps i shd haf seen it coming. blame me; hate me. yesterday i had a real beautiful dream but i know it will never happen in reality. the greatest regret in my life is losing you, i mean it. now we aint even frens, ive lost a confidant totally. i thought we'll still remain close, good frens but seems lky i was wrong. it was only wishful thinking on my part. im sorry for everything tt has happened. no matter how hard i try, perhaps, ill never be able to bring you back. mayb ure rite, this is my retribution. i nd no pity, no nothing. i dunno what will u feel, reading this, perhaps more hatred but those are merely the truth.

i await that miracle. trust. hope. pray.