yesterday nite was yet another nite of feeling ambivalent, perhaps due to the events that happen one after another.

to start off with, i dun understand, really i dun. why are their alwyas barriers between human and human. and the best thing; u haven got a single idea to all that's happening and why its all happening this way. im used to it and ill continue getting used to it. not bothering? ignorance is a bliss.

we're not kids who are born a day or two i guess. memories stay, we live with those memories for life because they can never be forgotten at all cost but why drain every relationship that we have with each different individual? i guess, that's the most saddening thing bout it all.

next. moodswings, everyone haf them. just that i really dunno what to do when time comes like that. seems like every step seem to be wrong for every word seems to bring back returns of pain. constant probing will result in you being a pain in the eye when its just mere concern; what's next? such complications.

i love sch but i dread this kinda sch life. i seriously abhor it. its like a skeleton walking on the streets, though there's people around, everywhere in real life. i dunno how to describe the kinda feeling. its like, the people around you seem to care bout nothing else but just going sch for the sake of it, results, studying, it doesn matter at all.

is there nothing tt motivates someone to study? i mean when exam times come, some can just slack and take it as nothing. they wont bother, wont gif a damn, seemingly giving it up, lky giving themselves up, their future up.

it wasn like that in the start, love the initial start, mayb its the people around that makes a difference. when u first started, can have project meetings rite till nite when the sch closes, we're still out having meetings, the only reason being; we've a goal to achieve. now, its aimless. though there are ppl who care, somewhat but u cant seem to find a connection with them. we're all different people who come from different parts of the world and sometimes we cant click at all.

the people around are nice, no doubt, the attitude around is the one that kills. many are gonna say who cares bout the others around you, just do as u deem, what u feel lky. but sometimes doing everything alone makes it meaningless. there are things u wished the others would follow suit and feel the way you do. there's then the sense of satisfaction, for the people around you are feeling gd too.

at times, our mood changes as the mood of others changes, that's cos they haf already form a very impt part of our lives. unknowingly, we care, share, cherish, wish they wont give themseleves up but somehow, they're too far out that nothing we do, say can touched them for they live in their world of their own.

sergeant: you wont be here reading this but im sorry but the not picking up of calls the past few days and living you to settle with the kids. its such an impromtu thingy and im real sorry and i shd be prepared that ure gonna scream at me again for ive an accounting test coming up this sat- which means yet uve to do another postponing. sorry.

i wan the past
where days were beautiful
where tml are all worth waiting for.
packed with activities
so colourful.