FOOTPRINTS-

2007-06-21T14:23:00.000+08:00

DUNEARN SECONDARY- LEADERSHIP CAMP

PERFECT- THANK YOU CAMERAMAN

BLURRED X3ME

THE GALS;

CAMPFIRE PREPARATION

KAH MENG & YING YUAN.

AH MA 1 & AH MA 2

MAY PHENG, CHRISTINE, KHALISA

THE ZI HIGH GUYS

SHU HUI AND ME - MY SL

KIAN JIAT HASN STOP FALLING SINCE HE STARTED THE OBSTACLE.

BALANCING & BALANCING

MAY PHENG =)

THEY LEFT MY SL SWINGING & SWINGING THAT SHE GT TOO HIGH THAT SHE CANT STOP LAUGHING.

KIRORO =)

SWING SWING SWING

MY INJURIES FROM DRAGONBOATING.

back from another camp, two camps actually- one was a day camp and another was this. This leadership camp was superb, the kids there had a lot of fun so did the trainers i believe.

X3me was the group i took and they are really a bunch of fantastic leaders. in this group, no one is an individual, to them wad is most important is the group. take for example, in order to meet the dateline and have more time for practice, the gals washed their hair under the sink. During their amazing race, when crossing the road, zaki would alwyas make sure that his group members reached their destination in safety, and er. meng would always be the last man, to cheer his group on,to ensure that his group members are in his sight.

though im their instructor but they never fail to make my job easy. i know that i can alwyas count on them to be safe and sound for withouth my saying, someone will lead the group in crossing the zebra crossing with their hands raised, thanking the drivers for stopping, thanking the pedestrains, policeman for their help.

even when the gals aint feeling well, they would never give up, they wanna go on and they have no fears when doing their tic for they noe that they can alwyas count on the guys to support them, they trust the guys to bring them in safety.

when in wrong, they are never ashamed to apologise. when asked to perform silly and stupif things like smerging oreo on their teeth, there were no complaints, they helped each other in one way or another, just like a family.

when their groupmate- my scouts guy- kian jiat was appointed the camp ic they stood by him, cheered him on, supported him, to make him feel less afraid, give him the support to make him feel better. though this bunch of kids had to be separated from their closed friends and work with ppl they have never worked before, feeling uncomfortable at the inital stage but in the end, they are a team.

im doing a grandma story now like wad my ahma- samantha would do, her reflection exceeded the one page that was given and her speech during debrief lasted for 20 mins, talking frm head to tail, frm the sun to the water, frm being dry to getting burnt and wet. but i cant help it for 've only more and more compliments for them.

this is the first time i ever hear a group cheer when they noe that they are cleaning the toilet. during the whole 10 mins that they were doing area cleaning, i was doing nothing, i just gave my instrcutions and throughout, i sat outside and wrote my replies for their reflections, my 2 leaders took charge. This group never fail to surprise me. i could smeell fragrance from outside, they took their own soap to wash the toilet, amazing and remarkable eh. now the toilet smell so nice that i think it only need a wash 2 months later. haha =)

im very proud of this group, their reflections never failed to touch my heart, i thank them and my student leader for their active participation, for their considerations, support, help ,understanding. for them just being themselves, having fun and their never say die atttitude. i know that they can predict wad i would say next. but i hope theyll carry on this kinda spirit through their leadership years.

for may pheng, zaki and harrison, i congratulate you for being the next exco and for the whole of group 3- the x3me, i congratulate you guys for being the CHAMPION GROUP!

all the best in you future endeavours,I LOVE YOU GUYS. =)

2007-06-11T15:41:00.000+08:00

i think ive blogged about this before.

what decision would you make when neither one is rite, its just likeboth of them are like fleshes in your hands; either way it'll hurt.

but there's alwyas a choice that makes you happier but this time round, if i choose happiness, ill be forsaking and sacrificing others. its an selfish act but there are times when you reach the limit and you cant bear with it any longer. its just like reaching the highest peak, you cant go further up, the only way is to retreat and back down.

im set on that decision but there's a lot of considerations ive to think, before i do anything. im lost despite hearing a lot of advices and so forth, perhaps, im really numbed that when i had a thrashign yest nite, i feel nothing.

im happier away frm there, away frm all the phonealls, just being with people i loved, having fun with andy, it makes time pass by so fast and made me forget all my troubles, forget that im enduring all those rubbish.

no one can give you a solution, a perfect idea for in a million, there would only be one that has undergone the same situation as you do, frm then, they can relate to you and it carries on frm there.

can i forget about everything and do as i please?

lord, please show me everyday
as youre teaching me your way
to just do just what you say
in your time.

2007-06-06T20:19:00.000+08:00

PIONEER PRIMARY SCHOOL

TP SHUFFLE

MY ADORABLE GROUP 4

FANTASTIC FOUR

AMY; EUNICE; ALEX (my partner)
HAKIM- THAT CRAZY GUY

ive just returned frm camp- pioneer primary school. It was so much of fun, though the kids are a bunch of havoc, speaking in a language that's so alien to me but ive had loads of company in there, knowing a bunch of great people. The campfire was superb, you should have been there, the instructors chasing after the female teachers, the parents and principal joining in the dance.

though little accidents happened here and there, thrashing sessions and everything else but i guess there's always something that we can learn from it. Like what uncle jeffrey said, we cant prevent what's gonna happen, we cant twist and change fate but we can do our best to ensure that all safety measures have been done, being observant.

two more camps are coming up and i cant wait even though im supposed to be studying for my company paper tml.

___________________________________________________________________

2007-05-22T11:13:00.000+08:00

i wanna speak of 2 stories today, one is with regards to the dream i had and the other is about a weird incident i encountered. both happened on the same day.

THE DREAM

i dreamt about fat pig slashing me with a penknife, the cuts being deep and long with blood gushing out but there wasn any pain at all;weird aint it. 6 cuts in all, with 4 on my leg and 2 on my hand, kinda freaking huh. i mean if its any other person, its ok, its fat pig eh. haha

After which syaf came and find me. In that dream, she was my bestie. she accompanied me throughout as i narrated the whole story to her. But i didn know how did we end up participating in the 3-legged race.

I woke up after Kartika messaged me. a weird start with a funny ending.

THE INCIDENT.

fat pig's phone died off yesterday thus he diverted all his calls to mine. on my way to tuiton, there was a call looking for him, that voice in the other line sounded very much like brother bear but that person wouldn tell me where he's calling from. i called back to realise that the number really belonged to FIT- BROTHER BEAR'S COMPANY.

thus i enquired about it and narrated it to him but he said that there were only 2 persons in the company, he and a female colleague, which means to say that no one made that call but that number is displayed on my phone. Its still there, inside my received calls.

now, the case is who made the call? haha.

2007-05-20T21:00:00.000+08:00

i haven been blogging for quite some time and now im returning with a super duper long post- all about whining about how hard life is, like im so pathetic.

but well, admist all that bad things, there's always one that is worth celebrating.

i went SHOPPING yesterday with PARTNER, after what seem ages and we were like women who just came out from the IMH. i am serious. we were looking at things that only guys would be very attracted to, and lamenting about each and every person on the streets and i met my sec sch frens. i didn noe until YUN HUI shouted my name. but e saddest thing is that i had forgotten to take a picture with partner.

i haven stepped into p.s for quite some time and i was very much like a retard for everything there seems so ailen to me and i was fascinated by each and every new shop that i see.

____________________________________________________

ive been complaining about how efficient my favourite person is to tons and tons of people but i guess its something everyone would agree, ok, i might be exaggerating but youll soon come to realise. just imagine if someone does the following (combine them all)

tells you the wrong thing, gives you the wrong information
is fickle-minded. first he gives you task A then he denies and gives you task B when you were halfway there
is stubborn, like super
is blur..
speaks an ailen language
debates whether working day includes weekends and p.h when the screen shows it all

and the list goes on.. mayb tml i would be able to add in more ..

and lastly, MR NG _ _ _ _ _ _ _,

if you still have a heart or is not lazy, kindly return me what you should have returned TWO YEARS AGO. stop using those same stupid and lame excuses on different persons cos its useless. stop thinking that methods can be used twice cos humans are quite smart in case you didn know it. stop dragging and get it done. it doesn cause you anything to just return those stuff to me. i can go down and take it too if you could gladly stop those lame shit.

THANK YOU.

2007-05-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MUMMY!

people say we look alike and my cousin was saying today that normally that child that looks like the mother would be the one who caused the most heartache to her. i think its true to a ceertain extent, though i look like her but my character is not any like hers. she's quite old-fashioned in her thinking but she's super understanding.

she knows that we're off different generations thus she gives and take. she's super forgiving and she trust her kids wholeheartedly. calls that she gif not seeing her kids at home are annoyance to us but to her, she just wanna make sure you're safe, after which, she wont bother anymore.

she would always be the one supporting us, in any other way, when we collapse and fall, she's there to give her support, when my sister have her competition, she very much wanna go down and give her support but knowing that her presence would be a pressure to my sister, she would just say words of encouragement, messaging her before she go for her matches, overseas trips.

whenever we are beaten by him, she'll always stand up for us, protecting us from every pain. she always smiles on the outside, whether she's happy or not, and swallow her tears herself, jsut because she doesn want anyone to worry for her. no matter what people have done to her, how much pain she has endured, ultimately, she'll still smile and fogive that person. she's an optimistic lady.

at times, when we upset her, say awful words to her she would just smile and take it as a joke but deep inside, we know she's heartbroken. she understands us inside out, when im agitated, she'll seek help frm others and leave me alone to think, to ponder, to cool down. no matter how angry she gets, she'll never beat her kids nor chide them in any harsh tone.

she's the greatest mum you can ever find.

i still remembered the words she said to me after somethign drastic happen. she said this, no matter what happens, youve nothing to fear, even if the place is filled with unhappiness, youll still be fine, for you've mummy, u've ur siblings, people whom u can trust and protect you.

to her, we're her everything but to us, mummy, youre our everything. thank you for all that youve done to us, we can never do enough to repay your love towards us. you wont be reading this nor understand those words but mum, forgive me for my stubborness and the times i've made u upset, i love you mum. =)

2007-05-08T00:58:00.000+08:00

i gave my brother a shock today when i told him that my head was bleeding and showed him this tissue paper filled with blood stains. but the bleeding came from a bursted pimple when my comb accidentally brushed against it, quite stupid ar, ok, its damn stupid.

im down sick, with a cold and an oncoming fever, plus a sorethroat, how nice is that kinda feeling.

i saw the programmers today, with their sl t-shirts on, helping out in the vibrant life. i dunno why but i dont have the feeling of wanting to go up to them and say hi, it sounds bad, but still, i am just afraid of the response ill get in return. somehow, the bond then would not be carried forward till today, those laughters, tears, and everything else ended then.

that's exactly how i feel. everything has changed. Many are gonna say that the people are still who they are or im plainly thinking too much but i reckon its a fact that everyone has to accept. Just look like all the status , is either busy or away, everyone has dispersed, into their own busy life, yet another chapter of their own.

i hate to admit but i detest that silence - that was the reponse.

RESULTS AINT THE WAY TO DEEM ONE PERSON'S INTELLIGENCE.

whenever results are released, you would hear a commotion, all around you, people are asking about each other's results. when your each home, parents would compare results with her fren's child or her nieces, nephews, its not good to have cousins of your age you know?

im the lucky one who doesn but like any other person,ive been thru all those stages that now i believed that process is more important than the end result. No doubt, some people are born smart, its in their blood, in their dreams but there are others who can outshine when they work doubly hard.

i still remembered those times when mummy would come back with loads of gossips, the most hilarious one, is to even haf to report that my cousin, then he was pri 2 scored an egg for his chinese ting xie. the first reponse was a "huh", its like its a fact that its quite easy to score full marks by just practising and memorising.

but in my family its like the most sizzling gossip would reach your ears the very day the incident happen, it explains why im such a KPO now huh. haha.

back to where i was, there are times or rather ive been slacking for so many times that being dilligent seems ailen to me, perhaps its due to my not liking this kinda system, that kinda study method, btu wadevr the reason may be, those are just excuses. when i turn back and look at myself, i realised there's loads of regrets, those things about "if only".

but the past is over, its too late to ponder over it, thus let's just look at the present. im trying, im learning still, like anyone else.

if you believed that youve done ur best, nothing else matters, that applies to you my kids as well, ill be proud of each and everyone of you, no matter what ur result may be. =)

2007-05-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

I HATE
I DISLIKE
I DETEST
I ABHOR
I LOATHE
I DESPISE
I MALICE
.......

little by little i take
step by step i walk
with hestitation,
feeling insecure.
not wanting to turn the knob
not wanting to hearthe commotion inside.

_____________________________________________________________________

do check this out.
http://wongted.blogs.friendster.com/teds_blog/

a special dedication to my mum by my bro, beautifully written, a work that ive never seen him done before. i didn even noe that my bro will start blogging ar.

reading his entry makes me wanna shout this out:

I LOVE YOU, MUMMY!
YOU'RE THE GREATEST THING ON EARTH. HUGS.

thank you fat pig, for everything and everything. =p

2007-04-30T03:00:00.000+08:00

I WANNA FORGET THOSE INCIDENT; THOSE THINGS.

2007-04-27T02:04:00.000+08:00

pardon me; that's the result of my boredom. =)

WONG E 's SERENA'S RESULT!

Create your own Friend Test here

2007-04-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

FLASHBACKS.

do memories flow back into your mind, when you pass by a familiar place, when you see a familiar thing? i had tt feeling when i bought a puzzle book at the popular two days ago. it brings me back to the times where hong, eric, kat and i would play spot the difference together. it may seem like a boring, childish game, but its always these little things that leave behind wonderful memories.

things might have changed, whether we'll meet again is yet another thing altogether. whatever it is, the process is much more important than the ending. at least, ive had precious memories that i kept till date.

__________________________________________

sometimes i wished time could stay still, then we needn miss the old and welcome the new. its like a vicious cycle, when you step into a new phrase, you gotta let go of something and accept something new.

pardon me for feeling ambivalent now.

( i just deleted a long paragraph, i've no idea why. )

and my point from the long long essay which i wanna express is that, sometimes, some people are just not your cup of tea, no matter how hard you try to befriend them.

2007-04-23T00:01:00.000+08:00

20th april 2007 marks the end of everything, sl camp, tea party and the orientaion. no doubt it has ended but memories stays. i seem like the most heartless person there, being calm and cool during the last nite but still, im grateful to each and every programmer for their guidance, understanding tolerance, and love. i thank god for bestowing them into my life, they added yet another set of colours, left yet another set of footprints.

its not easy for a group of people with different thinkings, personalities to come together,bearing with each others nonsense, opening up to one another, like one big family. making blunders there, running off earlier, coming in late- they were used to it, its my irresponsibility but yet they respected it with no complaints, no nothing.

thanks for you guys just being you, for anything and everything.

i miss you guys and i love ya guys. =)

2007-04-17T23:31:00.000+08:00

i feel so lost suddenly, when this person A asked me for the contacts of 3 other ppl,. B, C, D. initially i tot he was another of my fren thus i asked the reason for im afriad the others might mind but it turned out that i had mistaken him for another guy. and his response made me stood dumbfounded. he said."

er.. this kinda thing oso must report to you? just wnana ask them sumthing:"

we are a team, i tot we were, thus i tot we're supposed to be open, i doubt there's anything to hide if we were a team but i guesed perhaps im too simple-minded.

to me, i feel that its a me-to-you kinda thing instead of a me-to-everyone kinda thing. sometimes, lost in the conversations, in my own world cos no updates were made, its just like a react on ur feet kinda thingy.

perhaps the only together thing i feel is taking instructions together, crapping, doing nonsensical stuff which i personally feel aint enuff, i dont feel part of it. a very simple eg is like lets say, the whole team is supposed to wear this particular top but some of them were not informed. its a form of outcast a feel and we start questioning, fingers starts pinpointing.

i tot the least is to ask the whole team instead of just a few here and there, perhaps there are reasons, perhaps, there's this and that. but still. i dunno, perhaps ive never worked in this kinda environment before and the perhaps continues. but its just a piece of my tot.

2007-04-14T00:40:00.000+08:00

today was a crazy day. its been so long since i went that crazy, having tuition one after another. but ah beng really drove me nuts today. just imagine ok, this kid that youve been teaching for quite sometime suddenly had moodswing.

he had practically gone bonkers la. things to prove my point.

he was lying his head on the table
then he was humming this weird song
then he was flaring up; saying that he doesn wanan do work and haf tuition
lastly, he collapsed on his bed.
i said to tell his mum, and his reply was, at most he'll get canning.

had a talk with his mummy through sms, she herself is worried cos this the age when kids start to turning astray. but then the reasons are the usual ones, parents not spending adequate time with their childrening, pampering them too much, we cant deny that for this is the 21st century. to kids, canning them to they bleed, screaming, shouting at them, controlling them wont make them any better. it just makes them wanna rebel more.

sometimes i find myself lost somwhere, as though we cant keep up with the current pace, and as if we've no idea why things can happen and change so fast. i cant help but think, when my time comes, what will happen then? will i react the same way or would there be another form of style?

besides that, kids nowadays absorb more knowledge than in the past. now, i find myself beign interesting in touching the encyclopedia, when i used to abhor it. mayb its an influence frm my kids. looking at them studying with much pleasure, as if its another hobby to them makes me feel like touching them once more to amend for all those that ive lost.

why dont u feel like talking to me when you know it all? i'm still me and you're still you, we can still talk like normal. i didn noe tt you aint aware of it. if there's a nd, ill apologise.

2007-04-10T19:28:00.000+08:00

im blogging because mr. keagen claimed that i should be doing so as it rusted for 10 days. the last event that i had i believe is the SL CAMP. but i break camp a day earlier due to unforseen circumstances, or rather i met somethings tt i shdn have and it gt me freaked out. you've to understand that im not a very courageous gal.

i shall skip the long story bout the camp but go into detail about all the new frens in the committe itself.

WESLEY- he's the head but yet he doesn portray that arrogance or anything of that sort. he's more like a fren and a crapping partner, he can just make a joke out of himself out of no where and end up being super high. but perhaps its due to his inexperience that he sometimes get nagged at here and there.

MUD- he's supposed to be tt doc bobo but somtimes his stuff are too lame tt ppl dun catch it yeah and this is his catch phrase, i trust my programmers.

KEAGEN- its supposed to be GAN but nvm. he's a fattie, and i think he'll get bash when he say tt he is cos he act is not, he's just a glutton who cant stop eating, that's something that everyone knows of. and he's a very nonsensical person, you wont see him without a smile whatever happens and he's always the one to get sabo. but on the whole, he's quite nice a person to tok to.

BRAYAN- he's called the wonderbra. and yeah, when fun runs into the head of this guy, he forgets bout everything else. and i just feel tt when he's serious, he's still laughing and smiling about. oh and he doesn like ppl to ask him why cos he would be dumbfounded. he's the favourite in the whole commitee. with him around, youll haf tons of rubbishy stuff going on. and i had a tiny little conflict with him during the camp but now, we're sisters. =) and he always leaves me out, not fair. haha.

XUAN- the super duper cute and blur gal with her own style and personality. if you get to know her well enough, youll realise that she is very knoweledgable and innocent. im not sure if that's the correct word but being with her, youll get a very relaxed feeling for she is super easy going and amiable. she's the bubbly, optimistic gal and it was her who talked to me thru when i had the unhappy experience. =)

LIPING- the very sweet and the super duper "sotong" gal. she always get teased by the programmers and she will just laugh it off after that. she's quite slow ar, frankly or mayb slow. haha. she's one where ppl will fall for her at first sight and one whom ppl can rely on i feel. though blur but she's the one who teaches everyone the dance hor.

MICHELLE- at first sight, youll deem her as a super shy and quiet but its the antithesis of who she really is. she goes high and i mean very high at every other thing, and she loves taking photographs if i aint wrong. she's super active and a joy to be with for she'll lift your moods up and make u smile once more, make u feel lky joining her. and she is always the one with scandals with this and that. =)

GERALD- he's one super quiet but super cute guy. dun just look at the surface of things,m he can lead, he can instruct and he can lame and joke with you bout every single thing. best thing, he's my partner in teasing liping. haha. =)

SALLY, ADELINE,MEI YAN- the INSEPARABLES- the gals who will work and really work. as in, when assigned a task, theyll gif in her best, quiet but very efficient in doing work. who say quiet gals cannot function?

SAMANTHA; CHERYL- they are each others' precious things. experienced leader who gets ready for every situation about to arise, though easily stressed but they are still very fun people to be with. look at their smiles, it'll make you smile. and the funniest thing is, cheryl will always get it when it comes to super random and super er weird photos. haha. but we still enjoy it all. they are like big jie jie's to us. not forgetting they are the ones who took over cluedo all by themselves.

KENGKEE; KANNAN- when they two are together, you'll get stiches cos they will make you laugh and laugh non-stop, they'll make a fool of themselves, imitate this person and that, making all those girly voices, trying out heels and all sorts. they are the entertainments of this whole team. keng kee is a very nice person to work with, though playful but he'll do work when he is asked to. =)

FUAD; KAI- i dun really noe them but fuad's one guy that i have to thank as during the camp he was the one who helped me for my station either because we were unavailable or because we got not enuff manpower. though graduated and busy with work but yet they still came and joined us as a TEAM. not given the title or name but still, he's part of us, sharing his experience and contributing in every way he could. and ya, he's like stick to BRAYAN. haha

PEARLLYN- she's the gal whom we always use her name for the fazzi- wazzi game. and she's a gal with her own stand, perspective, a very strong personality i would say. she's also one of the nice gals to tok to, well, everyone there is nice, i would say.

KAIQI- she's one super small girl, but excuse me, i think she is stronger than any other guy can. you would never believe that she used to be NCC madam can. she's one very nice person to be with, thank you for staying with me thruout then. she's a happy and blessed gal oso. haha. she is capable of things that others are not capable of. though not there very often but the ideas she contribute is superb and the min she is there, everything seems so free and easy. she'll always be the one to initiate to get work done. doesn she deserve the credits?

ALTHEA- the newly appointed assistants. she's super nice to be with can and she's super shy with camera. haha. but she's super efficient. when it comes to work, she'll gif you in every detail but admist the work, we'll all haf fun, just like the 21 by 5, do u rem? haha. and youl always hear her shouting my name cos im always disturbing her. haha

to them all;
THANK YOU;
for you guys just being you
for all the experience that you guys haf shared
for all the fun, love, joy that we had
for helping me with my station
for bearing with my nonsense
for everything else that needs to be thanked.
and SORRY
for leaving a day earlier
for the troubles ive caused
for everything else that needs to be apologied.

2007-04-01T00:52:00.000+08:00

HELL

could you please stop gving us last minute information? the thing is like tml and you are like telling us now? and plese do note that there are wet game involved and think bout the welfare of your commitee. i dont dislike you but i just dont agree with the way you handle the group, perhaps its due to inexperience or anything. but still.

and i dunno what im doing eh,its tml and ive yet to start packing and i got loads to do. tml is a day of rushing and more rushing. and let's all enjoy the camp then. =)

im sorry for not being able to help out. and an advance thanks to bryan and fuad who are going to do up my station cos my partner wont be there. thanks to jian liang oso for helping out and having to cause urself a headache.

=)

2007-03-31T15:27:00.000+08:00

2007-03-31T01:52:00.000+08:00

upset + upset = UPSETS more and so much more.

perhaps somethings are never meant to be understood,
seems like everytime u try to make known,
you gotta hold them back for others haf much more impt stuff
than to hear ur explanation.
so its just waiting.

im whacked; and i think im falling sick.
but what if suddenly, there's an emergency?
so ill choose to wait.

2007-03-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

the idea of this entry came bout when i was teaching ah beng just now

his results went from a pass to a fail again but yet he thinks nothing of it, worries nothing about it even when he is taking his PSLE this year. i mean, yeah, its nothing, like failing is no big deal but when you passed that stage and reach another level in life, youll realise that all those "no big deals" actually mean a lot.

no doubt, its every mother's desire to pamper their children, to make sure that they have the best of the world but not to the extent of giving them too much freedom. let's take ah beng for example, he's a pampered child, he gets all he wants and all that he doesn want, all that he hasn seen or heard before, going on hols every hols but on the other hand, he has 3 tutors, with all days packed with tuition after sch remedials.

e reason why his mum gave him 3 tutors was that its a very important year for him but it doesn help at all, his eyes are always hooked to the television and all the computer games, like seriously. before lesson, u see his eyes glued to the tv, after lesson, u see him flying out to watch the tv, the parents intention are good but is it taking him to the rite path, i wonder.

and becos he's just a kid who sees nothing but the tv, its really hard to make him realise how impt this yr is for him. all that he learnt since young is all gone. i was apalled to see him forgetting what is the units for area today. but he hasn gif up, so no one shd gif him up. perhaps one day he'll understand it all which i hope, he aint stupid, in fact, he's a smart boy but his laziness takes over him and his interest dies away on hearing english.

within these few months, i hope and pray tt he'll set his priorities rite. its not a pressure, perhaps its a push but only with the intention that he'll not do things he'll regret in future, all these is cos, i've been thru tt stage. that's this this bout kids, they'll either make u love them so, that wadever wrong they do, ull just feel like siding them, pampering them or make u hate them to the core.

another interesting thing. when i was walking under this block of flats, i heard this woman screaming" you zhong ni bei .. ni zhe ge za zhong". i think no matter what one has done, nobody should be scolded that, all kids are born by their parents, are their parents darlings.

every human makes mistake and every human deserve a rite to be treated like a human, a mistake today doesn mean that tt mistake will be made for life. to constantly insult them, it'll make them feel much worse aint it? humans do change, given that chance and space, that's what i feel.

and last thing for today. IM EXCITED BOUT TML. for if all goes well, ill get to see ANDY, im a little insane of him but he's simply adorable, you'll get to noe why.

now u get it.

2007-03-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

im back from a coporate camp, actually, it wasn much of a camp but more of belaying the adults. they had this amazing race thingy but i dun quite understand how they do it but its interesting watching adults do all stunts and entertaining themselves.

call me anything but that's the first time i belayed and watch adults try out all the high elements. you see those excited once trying it again and again, you see those spectators cheering them on and they were doing some "advertisement" asking them to call and support, imitating the charity show. it was all out of fun, with no offence.

to try out the stations, they would put on shoes that doesn belong to them and start blabbering about how terrified they are and so forth but the next minute, u see them climbing down like a spiderman.

its hard to imagine that these working adults still have camps organised for them, for leisure, just so that everyone has a day off and join in the fun. but i guess the most enlightening thing is, that kinda spontaneous attitude, that kinda bond they have is not what you can see in the outside world these days.

to them, its not whether they completed not, but whether their colleagues tried and had as much fun as they did. there's no what pushing about kinda thingy but only volunteerism. and one even used "breakfast" as a tve reinforcement to cheer their teammate on.

adults aint just adults who have their own life and forget bout everything else. it just all depends on choices i guess. its never too old to try out anything. if someone can prove you wrong, why not get yourself to prove urself wrong? =)

* im sounding like we're all old people who've wasted out youth. haha.

and the world is just so small. i met a new friend today while doing the camp and she just stays opposite me, which means that, i wont be late for camps anymore if she is going. haha. =)

2007-03-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

there's camp tml but yet im home, not packing but pondering over whether i should stay over for the camp.

im supposed to only do belaying for the first day, which is tml but since ive nothing better to do, why not go for the full 3 days but there's loads of considerations to consider now that im kinda sick.

if i go for the camp, itll be real troublesome, but if i dont go for the camp, it'll be super boring for me ar. would i choose my kids over camp or camp over tuition? in less than 24 hrs, ive to report but im still considering. when will i have the conclusion soon?

mayb i should just flip a coin but im forbided by serena to do so, and she still wanted to go for a movie tml eh. haha.

2007-03-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

FUCHUN PRIMARY SCHOOL CAMP - 7TH- 9TH MAR 2007

2007-03-14T02:18:00.000+08:00

've been feeling weird lately; after since i came back frm the camp. it seems as though 've lost a little of courage and confidence which is like so contradicting from what im supposed to gain after the camp ar. i cant explain it to make anyone understand. haha. " dun think too much la". its become such a cliche but ive a query, how do you exactly apply that phrase?

its like easier said than done ar. i think that sentence is said like as a minimal help to be given to the person seeking help ar. but i doubt it helps to any extent for its just a mere sentence. but ive to agree that no matter what, the little comfort ought to be appreciated. at least there's that one sentence better than nothing aint it?

but anywae, im feeling so whacked lately. meetings from early mornign to evening and thur's gonna be such a hectic day. meeting from 8 a.m till like late late at night, not 7,8 or 9 but i think 10p.m? that's like 14 hours non-stop? but i guess business is so much better than idling, wasting my time around ar since my kids are on a holiday trip.

and 've a super long minutes and description to be typed and submited by tml afternoon and so far ive only touched on like 3 agendas? so much whining going on but still; ill complete it. the committee's all giving their best for this to make sure that the camp would only be a success. =)

its weird without my sister by my side. it sounds wrong but that's the case. she say its freezing cold there and i await her arrival. its like another 4 days more to go? and lastly the results are coming out soon. ive no comments about that, think it'll be ok? i hope so. =)

bon voyage, hc. =)

2007-03-09T23:24:00.000+08:00

i'm back again.

but this time from fushun pri sch camp. i love e kids in my group to bits- SELF-CONTROL. they are so naive, so adorable though naughty. they'll go super high with all those high elements and games but not when you ask them to follow ur instructions.

they are a group make up of different personalities, like super duper different. having conflicts is something that is like normal but yet, ull be amazed at the wya they cheer for each other when accomplished a task, when their mates are performing a task.

i shall give a super duper gd example; bryan. he was the appointed leader of the group, though he didn earn the respect of his mates but he will not let go, but continue to make an effort to make the team work together. he's real fun to ahve when u can coomunicate with him; though at times u cant stand his "one man show". but later on, he understands and seeks the understanding of his mates and they excel as a group.

he cried before doing abseiling cos he was afraid of heights but later on, he did it, the reason he gave was, he felt real good and believed tt he can do it for his mates for rooting for him, believeing in him. after which he went for a second round and became the first to volunteer for all high elements.

nothing is impossible so long as you believe you can. when you cant, you must. challenge yourself to greater heights. there's no word as T-R-Y.

their campfire item i think was a hit, al-fifth was super duper cute. he came up with the dance steps and lead the group along, youll se those little kids shaking, dancing, shouting their cheer with power and might, and there's only one feeling for them- PROUD.

i shall not go on telling long stories; wait for the pictures to come and ull noe how adorable they are. 'm seriously deprived of slp and having a blister from the belaying. to end this whole story; i thank god for bestowing the kids ; brother bear for the opportunity and all the other instuctors. it was fun having you guys.

there's a so called amzing reace thingy ml at singapore river and tt's the reason i cant go for belaying. i shall soon turn into a roasted chicken frm allt he tanning in the sun but the experience, fun is worth the while.

reading you entry doesn need you permission for its an open thing.

you dont have to read mine cos i never say i wanted you to.

saying anything is my freedom

since you dont bother; then you dont have to care bout wad i tell others; or listen to anything.

hate me; ive long accepted that; what's next.

this time; im nt bothered and affected by your entry; that's your feelings for your post; youre entitiled to. truth or a lie; who knows?

pin me down to the bottom; if it makes you feel better.

and lastly; this is the last time; im blogging somethign with regards to you. and no worries, no one will bother you nor your frens anymore.

sorry for all the trouble.

and all the best to my sister who's flyin tml. gd luck. =)

2007-03-02T15:47:00.000+08:00

this post is specially dedicated to my new found fren; darren.
initially, my impression of him wasn at all good but then i realised it was all i miunderstanding. i had mistaken him. instead,he's quite a gentlemen, on the note that he offered to send us back at such a late hour when he could have gone back and rest. though he's words are filled with "thorn" but i guess by nature hes not at all bad.

i apologise for everything. and thanks for everything. the mr look alike of mr boon and mr 2 5-cent coin. now he has a new nickname. =)

2007-02-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

im so in love with him; his daddy asked me to wait for 15 yrs. =)

FINALLY; ITS OVER

all papers are over and done with; that itself is one thing that calls for celebration. can start throwing all books aside. the results, lets just wait and see. what's up next is meetings after meetings, tuition after tuition and camps. it doesn have to wait. some gold challenge at ntu starts of everything.

another 10 more days and my sis would be off to korea for her competition, lets hope all turns well for her. i think its real cool ar. let's recap on my past schedule.

new yr celebrations are no different from any other year, just that we go visiting later and later and return home later than ever. like we went visiting at 1 a.m the first day? that's my parents for you, the slow coaches. stayed over at serena's place and had loads of fun listening to the crap that her colleagues bring about. and coincidentally, we saw a guy that look lky her colleague who always get bullied by her. haha.

then it was preparation for exams and everything else. and some clique came over my place on one of the days, its an impromptu thing, some night session gambling, just as my parents were bout to head out. how interesting. following suit was jus tuition and more tuition as my kids were having their exams.

and i just returned home frm bringing my cousin to the library and had the first experience ever with adults, i mean her mummy, i cant explain it but yeah. haha.

entries are meant to be plain without pictures. =)

2007-02-26T04:00:00.000+08:00

i jus saw something tt made me smile.
the first smile of the day.
its nice to know of.
i wished he/she will make u smile;
now till forever.
smile on. =)

2007-02-26T01:45:00.000+08:00

i initially started rambling here but later deleted it, now im back here, with the intention to complete my "desired" post. the cobwebs are arising but this post shall be messages and messages. haha.

my weekend students are the most pitiful batch of students. time and again i never fail to not wake up and make it in time for tuition, tried means and ways to fit in nite weekday slots for them but there doesn seem to be a solution. mayb i should start applying wad sheena said"mind over matter".

to mud; im real sorry today. but i really had something impromptu to attend to. i know u wont be seeing this, but still, sorry. the no. of missed calls and un-replied messages.

ice; the setences; i just remembered ive somethign to do at home just reminds me of what she said, she've something to attend to, its a last min thing. e funniest thing, is those words were asked to convey to u but nt directly to me, mayb, i aint a human to her. but still. im such a person tt she have to put lies across when she is a person who abhors liars.

rtd; we've been frens since i dunno when and known each other inside out. there's nothing tt i cant tell you bout but now, i guess things are different. i know something happen in between to break this bond somewhat but then i realise, im tired of trying. the no. of times i asked is the no. of times i get the rejection. if she's the one asking, perhaps or rather i gaurantee it will be different. i abhor ur gutlessness, u're 19 my dear, be confident of every of ur move and step. dun tell me u cant for i see u rise so high up. once said towait but still u went ahead. let's be honest, we all know the reason behind the hastily you. but are u going a bit over? im whining but who cares?

you; mayb ive finally understood tt being strangers is the best route of it all. every coldness, every atttitude make the tears fall lky anything. i dunno why things turn out this way, i know u aint gonna bother for perhaps i shd haf seen it coming. blame me; hate me. yesterday i had a real beautiful dream but i know it will never happen in reality. the greatest regret in my life is losing you, i mean it. now we aint even frens, ive lost a confidant totally. i thought we'll still remain close, good frens but seems lky i was wrong. it was only wishful thinking on my part. im sorry for everything tt has happened. no matter how hard i try, perhaps, ill never be able to bring you back. mayb ure rite, this is my retribution. i nd no pity, no nothing. i dunno what will u feel, reading this, perhaps more hatred but those are merely the truth.

i await that miracle. trust. hope. pray.

2007-02-15T00:38:00.000+08:00

'm nt a bet for you two to bet on.
'm nt a toy for you to play around with.

know the limitations;
dun go beyond the border
no matter how close are we
no matter how long we've been frens.

there's a rite time for everything.

stop match-making me with whoever.
it aint fun at all.
and stop thinking tt you're an extra
cos tt thinking is real stupid.

where's tt reliance then?
i nd it rite now.
so badly.

2007-02-13T17:16:00.000+08:00

i can never get to study at home. it's full of distraction at home. after studying a chapter of conveyancing, here i am hitting the keyboard when the test is rite tml. i havent the faintest idea but there's this weird feeling when reading for the test, i'll know tt feeling tml.

chinese new year is lky round the corner but the atmosphere doesn feel rite, the feeling aint there at all. it seems lky another day, with the sun rising and setting. not much of a discrepancy and 've been shunning home as much as i can so that i wont have to tidy my room and everything, but lky always said, how long can i shun?

当初的爱情
现在的友情
已消失在人群中

我以为
你我的友情会比任何人来的深
但是我错了
你的忽冷忽热让我不知所措
好想告诉你
那真诚是真的
但你应该不会信吧

当天选择离去
也不想听我的一言一语
但你是否知道
你的离去不会让关心停止

为何变得如此复杂？
难道是我的不懂事
让我的心情变糟？

是因为我
让你拥有了那个秘密
感觉好难受
应为我是你的错误

累了，但又如何
还是要一步步的走着
希望有一天，一切都好转

2007-02-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

on 4th Feb 2007; we celebrated serena's bday. a whole chain of surprised planned out for her; namely human treasure hunt and she was asked to do all sorts of embarrassing things. but a good sport, she accomplished all task, even the one bout lying on the ground at cathay in public. my dearest, we hope uve enjoyed this day as much as we did. may all ur dreams and wishes come true. hope its been a memorable bday for ya. im sure u noe tt WE ALL LOVED YOU. =) this post is specially dedicated to you.

presenting to you; ms SERENA GOH!

he's the one who took over my postion; cheng en.

they claim tt's the first time he has his teeth shown;

for he's alwyas known to act cool.

and he doesn say bye when ending a phonecall.

that's the first time he try and seem interested in taking a picture.

dar; dear.
thanks for being there for long nicholas;

them; the colours of my life;

dine; eunice.

and that's the result;

plucking the strawberry out;

that's her; the bday gal.
she was touched to tears as her family appeared there;

she didn expected this;

her cake;
she just noe how to look pretty even with a blindfold.

we're supposed to be er, i dunno what. haha

chuanlian and her partner;

dickson; geraldine.

wonder how she can still smile so sweetly when all blindfolded;

so they took advantage of her.

she didn noe what's happening.

then she was blind folded all the way frm far east to amk.

the centre of attention.

that's the end product. let's hope the guy's gf doesn see this. haha

this's the worst of it all; she gotta get a passerby to apply lipgloss and kiss her;

partner and me;

we were there yest; and here we are again.

me and chuan lian; my playmate since young

serena chew; luoer; geraldine;

guess whose the oldest there.

diva? more lky a i dunno what. haha

and this is chou chou;

oh; tt's supposed to be a falcon. does it look lky?

i cant rem what's this place but i reckon everyone's wonderign whose the weirdo there.

she was supposed to pose accordin to the shop name; and this happens to be OMG.

yet another one;

the incomplete group; serena; u noe we all loved you.

the almost impossible scene;

task accomplished!

she was asked to get passer-bys to wished her happy bday with restictions to usage of words.

but she cheated; she gt our sec sch mates who happened to go shopping.

dickson; the goh brothers; xuan ming

geok leng; nat; luoer

having to do a catwalk at leftfoot;

she was asked to take a pic with the god of fortune; but her handsign seems wrong.

us;
jye shing; dickson;luoer while serena goes for her wheelchair ride.

dickson; me. the adorable guy.

posting for the other camera man;

she gt herself on a wheelchair as a bday gift frm e outsiders; cool aint it?

while waiting for her to dig ppl out frm cathay;

her first task; post a constipated look;

we were waiting for so long tt even the cubicle's a place for photographs.

p.s: i didn realise that im the oldest until daniel asked me how they are related to me. haha.

here are the clues we gave serena; can try solving them. =)

meet us at half past 3 when red merges with purple. when reached go two storeys up to where you'll go when nature calls.
congrats on solving your first clue. its far from over though, make your way down to the mall entrance of this mall. let's say you wanna catch a movie in this vicinity. it's not in this mall, not cine, where do you go?
what did we say bout keeping ur previous clues? when there, find pooh bear.
WISH for a cuppa coffee MA?
you didn like him then; you still didn like him now.
now for the last destination; let's go on a road trip. be a good sport and be a blind mice for today.

2007-02-04T13:58:00.000+08:00

skipped class on fri. it was the most irritaing and vexing day hat ive had. im supposed to be out but er, i shd post this before i go prepare myself eh.

dun understand why you gt so pissed off when i didn reply your question on fri. there's so many ppl out there, who knows who youre toking to. and for goodness sake, dun take me as a dumbo. and he's nt your dog whom u can command here and there. and lastly, im nt a woodblock, dumbass. i can speak, mind you. so dun insult and scold me tt way.

hc: somethings are never meant to be explained. what happened then is a past and i wan no mention bout it, lets not gp ponder bout everything. leave it to be ar. and do rem tt some decisions, only you are capable off. we can gif yout he advices but everything else, uve to follow your heart and decide for yourself.

to you, im nothing worth than a mistake in ur life aint. understood and accepted.

there's conveyancing tml and im er, no where near my final destination, nt to mention the assignment due tml. how interestin and by the time i reach home tonite, its bedtime. we'll see how it works frm here. gonna be packed once the semester ends, i choose it this way, to make my life all hectic. its easier to forget i guess.

sometimes, when u pass by someway familar or see familiar faces; you just cant help and think.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY; MY DEAREST SERENA.
YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU; WE SURE DO. HAHA!

2007-01-28T23:57:00.000+08:00

it used to be 2 a.m or the latest 3 a.m in the nite. now it increased to 5 a.m or to the extend of not going home, loitering out when all humans are supposed to be soundly aslp. not allowed to care, to bother. so long as you're safe, i guess that's all tt matters.

what's there to do outside? i wonder. affected by it all, ive to admit but i guess ill just learn to see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

you noe its gonna be cold in the nite; still allow urself to stay there and let the wind blow over your head. what's the fun in it all? or is it a must? i dunno. let's just do the stop-questioning- and-dun-bother-thingy. but it wont work out.

its just based on what's on the surface and nothing else. but i guess it doesn matter, no need for explanations or to make clear, staying put, walking behind silently will do. ill follow the instructions since its what you want on the request that it satifies you.

ill be alrite; ill get used to it. u wouldn noe all the happenings so far, but i guess there or nt, it doesn matter for rain or shine, ill still haf to walk thru them all. the safest place is the least security place now. ill never noe what'll happen next.

trust; hope; pray.
do take care.

given a chance; will you choose to be the one on the stage or the one behind the stage?

2007-01-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

cant rem what's been happening the past few days; i just noe that its packed with activities and projects. its kinda more relaxing for now but there's test coming up the next two weeks.

presentation's over with a lot of awkwardness faced. thanks to mr mud and his super big mouth but its all over, so lets not talk bout it.

had accounting test today; was feeling real weird when doing my paper. somehow just feel that there's something missing inside my answer and it turned out to be so true but what's over is over. it'll nt be as well done as the previous one- the amt of effort put in has a huge discrepancy.

physically drained lately; and the kids are driving me crazy at times. but the amazing thing is a simple smile of theirs makes everything so worthwhile. they're such dears.

sometimes we just wished well have more time. and its really hard to satisfy everyone. there's much to do but everything clashes.

enough of those emotional stuff;something to be excited bout- mummy's taking us out shopping next week. =)

tell me tt person yest was you;

2007-01-23T23:29:00.000+08:00

if that's ur choice, ill respect it.
but from within; i wanna say again.
ill be there still.

all these while, uve been my reliance.
i wouldn noe what to do if sumthing happen again
but perhaps its time i learn to be independent.
im thankful for ur presence;
ure remembered still and always.

perhaps its my fault again.
its always.
wrong actions; wrong words.
im sorry ive been a hinderance, disturbance
a pain in the neck.

mayb one day
when time permits
with an abundance of it
will we be able to understand each other fully
with a talk thru.

u choose to live for gd; just strangers for life- bby.

2007-01-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

im not transparent.. im not.. really, i aint.

2007-01-22T09:35:00.000+08:00

yesterday nite was yet another nite of feeling ambivalent, perhaps due to the events that happen one after another.

to start off with, i dun understand, really i dun. why are their alwyas barriers between human and human. and the best thing; u haven got a single idea to all that's happening and why its all happening this way. im used to it and ill continue getting used to it. not bothering? ignorance is a bliss.

we're not kids who are born a day or two i guess. memories stay, we live with those memories for life because they can never be forgotten at all cost but why drain every relationship that we have with each different individual? i guess, that's the most saddening thing bout it all.

next. moodswings, everyone haf them. just that i really dunno what to do when time comes like that. seems like every step seem to be wrong for every word seems to bring back returns of pain. constant probing will result in you being a pain in the eye when its just mere concern; what's next? such complications.

i love sch but i dread this kinda sch life. i seriously abhor it. its like a skeleton walking on the streets, though there's people around, everywhere in real life. i dunno how to describe the kinda feeling. its like, the people around you seem to care bout nothing else but just going sch for the sake of it, results, studying, it doesn matter at all.

is there nothing tt motivates someone to study? i mean when exam times come, some can just slack and take it as nothing. they wont bother, wont gif a damn, seemingly giving it up, lky giving themselves up, their future up.

it wasn like that in the start, love the initial start, mayb its the people around that makes a difference. when u first started, can have project meetings rite till nite when the sch closes, we're still out having meetings, the only reason being; we've a goal to achieve. now, its aimless. though there are ppl who care, somewhat but u cant seem to find a connection with them. we're all different people who come from different parts of the world and sometimes we cant click at all.

the people around are nice, no doubt, the attitude around is the one that kills. many are gonna say who cares bout the others around you, just do as u deem, what u feel lky. but sometimes doing everything alone makes it meaningless. there are things u wished the others would follow suit and feel the way you do. there's then the sense of satisfaction, for the people around you are feeling gd too.

at times, our mood changes as the mood of others changes, that's cos they haf already form a very impt part of our lives. unknowingly, we care, share, cherish, wish they wont give themseleves up but somehow, they're too far out that nothing we do, say can touched them for they live in their world of their own.

sergeant: you wont be here reading this but im sorry but the not picking up of calls the past few days and living you to settle with the kids. its such an impromtu thingy and im real sorry and i shd be prepared that ure gonna scream at me again for ive an accounting test coming up this sat- which means yet uve to do another postponing. sorry.

i wan the past
where days were beautiful
where tml are all worth waiting for.
packed with activities
so colourful.

2007-01-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

39.0 - 39.5- 38.7

now it dropped to 38.7 . yesterday was the worst day of all, no matter what they do, the temperature wont fall at all but im still thankful to them all, for taking turns to look after me and do all they can to make the temperature fall. some sacrifce their bedtime, others, just stood by in case i need anything.

collasped into a deep deep slp yest. now im sweating lky mad but the temperature doesn fall much and im nt permitted to turn on the fan. what a great time to fall sick? on mc tml and presentation's on tues. haha. its lky er, zi tuo luo wang. haha. slping and more slping. wad else can i do?

2007-01-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY B-DAY , MY DEAREST BROTHER!

tt's e price of lighting a candle; how cute huh.

5 yrs apart;

dad's slping; e cow's cute.

without daddy;

he claims tt he did make a wish;

5 yrs apart, 7 yrs apart

sis; bro;mum

tt nonsensical guy;

him;

2007-01-08T16:49:00.000+08:00

i can take the sun's rays no more
can i be blinded by darkness
so tt things would be much simplified?

i lost my direction; lost tt familiar touch
and the worst of it alll; i lost myself.
the familiar strength; the familiar gal;
they're all gone in a split second.

i cant keep up with the spinning of the earth
im far behind
can i change my way of movement?
let me fly
so that i can be faster than anyone else
and be more prepared on this journey?

drained; whacked;shagged;lethargic;tired
words of the same meaning
but they are all excuses
for me to run away from reality.

hit me hard; ill be back on track.

wo hao xiang xiang fei
tao li zhe ge feng kuang shi jie
you na me duo tong
na me duo lei
na me duo wo ming de lei shui.

stop having regrets and start rite.
when i can stop this skipping thing.
if mummy knows;she'll be more than disappointed.

2007-01-06T16:52:00.000+08:00

its a saturday but i cant find the desire to wanan go out and have fun, so lazy around at home- blog hopping. i realised something from it all. some people blog about their daily events, from head to to e while others blog bout feelings from within. im wondering, which of them would be able to rember the events tt took place when reminscing those memories.

e sch hols have ended and my kids haf all resumed their tution. seems lky nothing change, except the fact tt theire a yr older and much more rebellious. PSLE an impt exam tt everyone desires to score well but tt mr ah beng still slacks around lky its nothing. it will just come in a swift but i wonder if he feels the pressure; i doubt so. but nonetheless, so long as he gifs his best, im proud of him.

those kids never fail to make me smile. every of their silly action and lame comment brings the almost dead atmosphere to life once more. kinda missed my plmgs gal; she's doing her psle as well this yr but there and then was copign with too many things tt i forgo her with no rhyme or reason; that's just an excuse i gif. the fact is i shrink responsibility; facts cant be denied- it can only be accepted.

why is it always so that im always called upon when my work's undone and not called upon when i did my work? it happens all time round but lets forget bout it since im being used to be known as nt paying attention, nt contributing in class kinda. haha. slacking and more slacking but at least i tried doing my work and stuff but tt's nt trying my best. there's a difference altogether.

people around me are drifting away. perhaps it will alwyas come to a point where everything around u will slowly drift away. the then closed frens will drift to become hi-bye acquitances, the closeness will slowly distant away. the reason being, we all went ahead with different paths in our lives; no one is staying put for whoever and in each of our lives, we meet new people and the old slowly slowly fade away. its a pity but again, so long as once in ur life, they left some footprints, i guessed tt's all tt matters.

for those footprints can never be erased; never.

2006-12-26T23:10:00.000+08:00

Alrites; im back frm my genting trip. too lazy to realte the whole story.

so just leave the pictures to do the talking.

sisters;

the perfect model couple;

mummy and sister;

ive no idea whose tt;

the rollar coaster;

what a perfect capture;

u wished u were there;

MUMMY!

again;

part of the group;

that's at 3.30 a.m when we're hotel alone.

baoyi and me; soon she's taller than me and she's only 12.

it never end;

e most amusing picture.

he's crying and no one bothers; the cartoon is much more attractive.

bao e and me; she's damn tall.

its a common sight for them;

e complete version of the kids;

they make me feel young once more;

fooling around with the christams gifts.

e joker who centre the attention at the restaurant;

daddy & mummy;

my incomplete family;

uncle and uncle;

do they look alike; guess their age?

now, do we look alike?

gino;

sis; jacqueline; jessica

what did time forget?

it fall off frm somewhere;

me with zhilong;

adorable but naughty;

camera shy?

she's my love;

spiderweb;

mummy and me!

tell me i didn freeze;

we left our footprints;

where we're supposed to be soundly aslp;

2006-12-14T18:05:00.000+08:00

what a emotional rollar coaster ride.
for the scare i gave today, i apologise.
all i needed was a space on my own.

dun mind me, im just the opposite
and suffering frm heavy moodswings.

it'll be all alrite.
ill find it back.

standing frm where i fall;

2006-12-01T22:09:00.000+08:00

im deleted lky a fingersnap.
all those that happened is just a yesterday thing which means nothing to ~~you~~
nevermind; nothing's left to be said

i hope time will pass by lky the wind
so tt all these bits and pieces will be fixed
dread sitting here alone
and let my tots flow.

i'm scarred for life.

2006-11-29T22:33:00.000+08:00

what a rite time when all crashes in all.
walking in the dark; no one knows what happen. passerbys come and go but how u wished someone could stay to walk u thru. at least it wont be so bad.

pretedence; carry on with it, all the way thru. fine; nt fine. it doesn matter anymore.
its all bout time.

if u dun feel lky coming home;den dun ever come back again
dun take this place as ur hotel;and come and go at ur own leisure.
she's been great, remarkable;i wonder how she endure it all
but tt doesn gif you the rite to vent everything on her.
she's nt ur venting machine; mind you.
grow up a little wont you.

u're happier this way. im fine with it.

2006-11-22T00:42:00.000+08:00

today's been a great day though in the midst of it, there's regrets. thank you for making my day. sometimes i wish i was just courageous enough to not follow the crowd and make my own stand but im just too afraid of loneliness. it hasn been happening once but time and again. always i turn back and ask myself why didn i but there and then; its far too late. i really wished there's someone as closed to me; then all these wouldn happen but it wont happen.

im addicted to "spot the difference" . whether its played via the machine or in the book; its just fun. been doing loads of puzzles today when im supposed to be doing my tutorial but nvm, at least it stimulates my brain. everyone's stressed up; work is piling up; projects due and everything's due here and there but i dun find myself getting worked up or putting an extra effort to make it rite. either im too tired or my body cant take it.

conveyancing's a mystery to me. though all the deliverables seems ok and all but im lost somewhere somehow or mayb ive never understand it frm the start. and i noe ive been troubling our tutor loads with all those questions tt seem stupid and all. though queries are answered, im still lost, dun get the whole at all. nvm, ill figure it out, someday.

loads been happening lately; whether its happening to me myself or the people around me. u'll jsut feel the way they do naturally for they are too close to u. ive been real blunt towards her, showing all my irritateness and all but u werent like tt in the past. why so this time round then? getting urself stuck in all these, do u noe how much we worry everytime u say u are tearing; everytime u say this has happened, tt has? ure much more worthwhile. love urself more can, take it as a plea frm me. dun lose urself cos of tis. get back on track, i hope ull.

the least and only thing i can do is to listen to the voices tt comes. nt having been able to do anything, im sorry. tml might nt be a better day but a better tml will come. do smile. there'as always a reason for u to smile. alwyas and always. =)

2006-11-13T12:41:00.000+08:00

been long since i updated this and my twiny's chasing me for more ages. cant help it, she's just too obessed with my everything. haha. let's see.

past week been hectic, with e real project released, ve been typing loads of letter, training my typing skills ar. but most of the time, ill be stuck. conveyancing's just not my cup of tea. few days ago, as i lay on bed, images of plmgs, my previous kid float out of my mind, kinda missed her, still feeling guilty towards her,wondering how's she been and all.

and frm next week onwards, ive to travel to bukit batok, think ill just rot. but then again, seeing those kids, the laughter, the joy, it'll just make u feel that everything's worth it. mayb i can go find my husband-sheena there. haha.

time's gonna past by real fast, three more weeks and its mid-sem test. then two weeks of break where i will be overseas, where ppl are celebrating christmas here, im nowhere to be seen.

weekend's been out and out, sat's been out roaming round the streets and all. though somethings happen in between, but lets nt tok bout it, after all,its a past and everything's fine and settled for now. dinner was fine, like usual, ive been having loads and loads, by next week, think ill be gaining few more kilos. what's more, i dun exercise.

my comment for tt day: one shd learn how to respect oneself and the public. =)

sunday's out at carmen's bbq. think she's been a poor thing,running here and there. think i was the most relaxed person there, sitting there, waiting to be serve. perhaps the only thing i did was to smile for the shoots. haha. i did poke my the chicken wings thru though most of the time, i get myself pricked. and tt's the eveer first time i see her so shy jus cos of a little surprise. and the dumbest thing is, ive forgotten to get the candle when i take the cake. some sotong am i.

alrites. twiny's chasing me out for lunch. and tt dumb her forgotten to bring her notes; thus i shall be nice enuff to accompany her to skip class. be touched k, my twiny.

i reckon im of unsound mind when i type this entry, thus forgive me if u ive gt u crazy. =)

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY, CARMEN ONG

2006-10-26T16:32:00.000+08:00

alrites, ive two hours to slack before lecture commence, thus im blogging. tt's how my every thursday's gonna be lky, kinda pathetic i suppose. luckily, ive a pri sch mate in e same class as i do, if nt ill bore to death in tt long break.

sch's started but the first week's pretty much a breeze as there's no lab sessions nor is the tutorials but frm then on, i think its gonna be more hectic and heavier. and i reckon ill be late again and again for lessons. tt's a typical thing. its been quite a tough week i mean, with regards to emotions and happenings. comments by some insensitive ppl pulled me down to bits but now im still here, in a piece all credits given to him, for his presence, bearing with everything and stuff.

its yet another new term, and i think ill be struggling with conveyancing matters. those resolutions tt i set for myself, lets see if ill complete them. i sure hope so. but er. there's always impromtu stuff if you guys noe it, plain laziness and everything. =)

oh ya. and xuan ru went in to army today. its barely few hours, but i supposed im beginning to miss him. all the late nite chats and emotions he shared with me. hope he's liking it there.

to my dearest twiny;
whether u are reading this or you are nt. dun pull urself down with presumptions and facts tt u make up urself which ultimately are just stuff tt u say to deceive urself. i mean. hello, if u go ask any person who noes u, i doubt they'll agree with whatever u say bout urself, being stupid and all. u urself noe urself best, if ure stupid, then u wouldn haf achieve anything alrites? nothing's entirely ur fault and no one shd put the whole burden on themselves. ure not bounded by it and ure not a superwoman to carry all this loads by urself. it takes two hands to clap, thus it explains the above. dun be silly alrite. its nt ur fault at all, it seriously aint. why blame urself? ure smarter than u think u are, ure better than wadever ppl/ u criticise urself. and i seriously mean it. trust me. smile again alrites? =) tt's then my twiny. loves; hugs.

2006-10-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

here's what i did for the whole of today. =)

there;

then;

now;

there;

then;

now;

be proud of me. =)

2006-10-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

tt message tt hurt a million;
cutting deep beneath those flash.
there and then, the smile was replaced with tears.
haf u misunderstood me or haf i done so?

walking along the streets
my footsteps gt heavy
out of a sudden;
i seem to lose tt shelter
i couldn find my direction anymore.

when i turned around;
it was empty.
i know my stand. very clearly.
i doubt things are gonna be the same again.
iim slowly disappearing into the air;
becomin jus lky any particle,
losing my sparkle .

i merely wanted to say.
since u noe how i was feeling
and i guessed ure the only one who did.
could u just gif me more pratical comfort.
AND
i didn mean:
uve never done anything at all.

mayb i didn phrase it rite
or perhaps its too much to ask for.

ill never reject you if you stand rite in front of me;

2006-10-17T18:58:00.000+08:00

words aint supposed to affect me
but they still did;
next time, just shut up
no one will take you as a dumb person.
if u wanna pull me down with ur words, just scram.
im the way i am.
accept it; if not jus get lost.

2006-10-10T22:26:00.000+08:00

millions of thanks for making the trip over.
you really needn do it though i was craving it.
despite it being the wrong thing altogether, its the tot and everything else that mattered.
and i finished it, lick-ed clean. =)
even mummy think what u did is great.
i mean seriously, who wouldn think so.
trips here and back jus for that.
thank you.

2006-10-01T01:24:00.000+08:00

been 20 days since ive blogged. oh man, aint i such a "regular" blogger?

cant remember what's been happening the past few days except being sick, lying lky a patient, awaiting for someone to get me out of that boredom. but tt's not the climax of it all. had a wonderful delight today. and guessed what, it came frm my student, the ever most cheekiest guy who would lame with you bout this and day, playing hide-and-seek with ur stuff and all btu when he's serious, he's amazing. he gets all things done at ur fingertips and at tt very moment, u'll feel real proud of him. he's non under than mr nui.

out of the blue, he gave me this bottle/box of swt choc or is it choc-swt. it doesn matter. the most amazing thing is tt is his favourite sweet but yet he's giving it to me. nt treating me to one or two but a whole brand new tube. how i noe it? he has tubes of it arranged neatly in his cupboard. he says tt its his collection.

perhaps i might nt bear to eat it ar. and i cant eat it now. tt kinda feeling is really amazing ar. something tt u never expect will happen happened in front of you. at tt instant i tot he was sweet. but i changed my mind in a split second cos he started his hide-and seek. aint i glad tt he returned it to me? and he's real cute. claiming tt he's afraid to be home alone and asked tt i extend another half an hour. and im supposed to set a test paper for him.

kiddes;
none of you would be here reading this but still i haf to say tt its really been a joy having u guys in my life, adding yet another vibrant chapter into it. psle, end of yrs are coming, tension is rising, stress is adding on but still no matter what, just gif ur best shot in the battlefield, no matter what happens, u guys will always be my proudest. tt includes u nat, if ure reading this. the smiles, the laughters tt u kiddies haf created works wonders. all the best and gd luck.
loves;

2006-09-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

life's full of wonders. everytime you walk on the street, u'll find interesting sights tt captures ur attention which leads ur mind to thinkings.

saw this sight of a blind man trying to board the bus. every step tt he takes brings bout heartaches and worries. its dangerous, far too dangerous but at the same time, u admire his courage and perserverance, the ability to step out despite having a physical disability. you applaud and respect him for he's outwin every normal human being.

putting myself in his shoes, i wonder if i ever will haf the courage to do what he did. tidying up the mess in my rm, gettin out of bed, those little and insignificant things already takes me ages due to the laziness and procrastination. what's more accomplishing what he did. it links to another issue bout cherishing and happiness. i bet he leads a fulfilling life despite having lost the sense of sight.

will those stars in the sky shine forever?
or will they jus sparkle for a while and disappear?
lost it all; gotta find them back.
step by step
bit by bit.
; behind those smiles

i dun detest you; i despise u

2006-09-07T00:02:00.000+08:00

quit being childish
what's with u adults has nothing to do with us kids.
lky u can hatred on for a lifetime, it'll only make u more miserable.
u abhor doesn mean tt we haf to follow suit.
; insanity.

2006-09-06T12:36:00.000+08:00

its been sometime since i update this blog eh. reason being either i lost tt momentum in a few seconds or i cant think of sumthing concrete to blog bout. let's see. yesterday beena sibling/family gathering i supposed. went to watch barnyard and shopped around with my siblings. bro was vexed cos either what he wanted didn haf his size if nt they dun catch an eye. tt's the prob with slimming down? but at least he looks real nice now. at least to me. =)

barnyard's a comedy and its nice. in the midst of its little entertainment tt never fails to create laughter, there are touching scenes that make u reflect and link to life, pondering bout the bits and pieces tt shd haf been done.

afterwhich, mum took us to this restaurant to eat. my sis and i are one of a kind. haven the slightest idea what tastes gd and what taste nt, so long as it satisfies us, i guess tt's all tt matters. aint all food of tt same purpose?

past two nites have been pondering and more pondering. perhaps when u cant figure an answer out no matter how hard u squeeze those brain juices, its best leaving things as it is, for things might unfold by itself. think winsor, tt's the application if nt u'll only be having more and more sleepless nites. =)

sometimes i wonder if its gd to have nothing around for u to do, then u can idle ur time around, slacking but it only means more opportunities to think and letting ur imagination go wild. thus perhaps its much better to hang out, capturing much more beautiful memories tt's gonna last a lifetime. if nt, jus sleep ur way thru to make up for those lost siesta during sch days.

out of the blue, im wondering, what's tt mindmap doing in the hols, perhaps he's getting ready for family law. haha. he's one amusing fellow. and my dearest miss ice. ive been waiting for ur date. =)

2006-08-29T23:34:00.000+08:00

ive a feeling im e weirdest person on earth. there's an accounting paper on thurs and yet im slacking. there's seriouusly sumthing wrong with me. nt lky im a pro in accounts or anything, in fact im the antithesis of the pro. perhaps the thinking of having a tml to study jus make me feel lky leaving it to be for now. im always procrastinating.

past two papers have been quite alrite i guess.
criminal procedure- it all depends on luck now. did e best tt i ever could though im kinda blind and suffering frm stm. remembered telling myself to edit tt question but still i forgotten bout it. oh nvm.
contract- eh. haha. as for this, hmmm, lets hope i analysed it correctly and my guesses are rite la hor. =)
and as for both. lets hope that the markers wont vomit blood figuring out what im writting and minimise their standard of english. couldn be bothered bout the language during the paper but thinking bout it now, think i wrote the standard of some kid. lets hope for the best.

one more down and its gonna be the hols but it aint gonna be a hol for me i guess. let's see. elated and was super proud of ah beng. finally passed his subjects- 2 of them. but still any improvement makes me smile, tt's the joy of teaching kids. every little step makes a difference. he's proved tt nothing is impossible so long as u are willing to try.

anywae, thanks mindmap for the offer he helped in helping us understand criminal procedure. at least we've understand bits and pieces here. haha. despite it being late at nite or early in the morning, depite complaining bout me he still helped. thanks. =)

trust me this once when i say those words
they aint said for nothing.

2006-08-26T23:49:00.000+08:00

whining; complaining- been thinking bout this last nite upon chancing it sumwhere.

people whine as an aid to relief, to make them feel all better while others simply haf no other better business to care bout. but what's the point. i mean yeah, u whine bout not having this and tt, nt being at good at this and tt as compared to someone else but never tot bout the good and all tt other dun possess. but perhaps u'll never understand tt sumtimes ppl yearn to be lky u as much but there u are complaining.

sometimes i dun understand or perhaps i cant be bothered to understand why ppl are so culculative. they make a big fuss out of a tiny weeny little thing as though tt thingy captured a piece of tt flesh. think there's a nd to ponder bout the ones aint at all fortunate as us before we complain bout anything under the sky and think bout the backstage of everything. its nt bout the outside but the inside.

before u complain bout the dislike of cuisine;
think bout the effort behind
before u complain bout nt being someone else;
think bout hw ppl love u for u jus being u
before u complain bout naggings;
think bout how fortunate u are to haf someone nagging
before u complain bout being lonely;
think bout e frens who are waiting for ur call
before u complain bout how hard the paper is;
think bout the dream to challenge ahead
before u gif up;
think bout how others have done it.
before u complain bout sumone else;
think bout urself
before u complain bout the weather;
think bout how good it's to be alive
before u complain bout the result;
think bout the process

before anything; think.

flippig, highlighting, writting. tt's e process of studying but how much has really been absorbed, i wonder. everytime u think uve gotten sumwhere, there'll be sumthing else tt make u withdraw. the code's nicely decorative but how much's useful? but who cares; at least ive tried. =)

2006-08-25T18:16:00.000+08:00

down with a cold yest- seems lky im prone to getting colds. and mr lee claims tt i was the one who brough it upon myself. and he was still having fun teasing me yest nite.

in e end, it turned out tt my wonderous agent was joking with us. how fun is it ar. he's a guy with such high ego. said tt we should treasure him more and tt its for our sake. oh goodness, someone cure this guy wont you. he's getting out of hand with all his self-apprisals and all. what's worse, he says tt the goodwords tt i mention in the last entry aint enuff to fully describe him.

set him aside. im seriously pondering how am i gonna dissect and absorb everything in cpc? the code is thick enuff to be a dictionary and its words and phrasing seem so arcane to me. i think i nd a walking dictionary on the day of the examination. e doc was telling me yest tt there were 3 types of ppl on earth. 1) the super hardworking type. 2) the born-intelligent type 3) the lucky type. he said he fall under the 3rd category when he got his license as a doctor as he cant be bothered to study for his exams. i wonder if he's kidding me. think i shall stop whining and do some realistic stuff.

till den;

2006-08-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

alrites. i think im one of the abnormal ppl, with some screws losen in my brain or sumthing of tt sort. while ppl are busy studying. im here blogging. haha. jus haf the suddden urge of wanting to blog so here i am. =)

exams's next week and i haven the faintest idea how am i to survive for criminal procedure eh even though its open book. it requires loads of braincells, guessing smart, figuring rite, a strong foundation of english and luck. whatever it is, guess we could only jus do our best and god will do the rest.tt's what always said in sec sch in the prayers before every examination.

anywae, ve been thinking. "gonna study hard", "wanna do well"-common phrases of students but it seems lky a cliche nowadays. what's exactly the defintion of studying hard? i think it depends on each individaul eh. a page of studying, an hour of revision is also deemed as studying hard aint it?

set aside exams; kids lately have been a joy. well, they've alwyas been. admist the stress, they are the ones making me smile and all. but i think ive caused a lot of trouble for my agent regarding "mr right" eh. and now he's said to tender his resignation, think its cos ve been giving him too much headaches though he claims not.

he's been a very nice agent. he dotes on us lky anything, will stand up for us come what may, enduring all the naggings frm the parents whenever something crops up, defending for us even though its our fault. he's a great entertainer as well. when he has nothing better to do, he'll ask bout our current affairs and act lky some kiddy, go bout "creating trouble". tt's him. at times he's weird too.

now tt he's made up his decision. lets hope all goes well for him in his future career prospects. but now tt there wont be anyone whom i can rely on when trouble comes, i wonder what will happen. -

lets hope tt he didn kid me -

thks winsor for everything.
uve been great and will always be.